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Busting the Myth of Trying Really, Really Hard Either with food or Money! Same Difference

You’ve taken a course, got help putting your finances in order, been shown how to budget and maneuver your take-home pay to reduce your debt in earnest. You know you have to if you want your future ready for your retirement or you simply want to buy a new car or wardrobe. You know you have to take initiative on this road-to-financial-freedom.

Whether that feels right for you or fills you with dread, now you’re committed to try really hard to keep on a money schedule. But what happens is, you look back over the month and still the same results happen. You don’t have a reserve of cash to go out for dinner or a movie. You can’t see the dent in the bills and you wonder is it worth the effort.

You tell yourself you’ve tried really, really hard to keep focus on paying down debt and building a cash reserve.

So who’s fooling whom?  

It’s not easy because you’ve been in a pattern of overspending for so long and worse, you are convinced it’s okay. If you want to do better, trying really hard is the worst thing you can do.

The truth is, no one really cares at early ages to put a financial management plan in action along with getting married and having kids. No one thinks about retiring in thirty or forty years. 

Do you think about your future? 

Most people earn some or lots of money and are so happy to buy things. What’s more, with today’s low interest rates, many people swoon with pleasure they can buy things they can’t afford, like the bigger house, faster car, and travel everywhere.

Young couples borrow money from banks and load up their credit cards because the desire is in the buying. There is little concern that all that money, even at the lowest interest rates, still has to be paid back!

When the job ends, the companies merge, downsize, and one of the spouses loses income, they say, we’ll try really hard to keep this lifestyle. Really really hard. And if trying hard doesn’t work, many people think they can get government support like unemployment insurance and special allowances just to survive.

What’s the alternative to trying really hard?

Well first of all, you have to change your mind and perspective about your debt. You have to accept that debts must be paid.

The money has to come from somewhere.

I want to show you your future.

The only place governments get money is from the people.  From you and me by higher taxation, cutbacks in social services such as education, health and infrastructure cutbacks.  Lower oil prices here in Alberta have created government cutbacks that are straining the coffers. Hopefully people stop getting sick because there won’t be enough medical help. Or classrooms will overfill with upwards of thirty kids to one teacher! 

But this is happening. It’s difficult when you see fewer jobs, and more people without jobs.

That means fewer people contributing to pension plans, which means that when you reach the retirement age of sixty-five, you won’t have a pension unless you’ve been putting funds away for one every month. Let me repeat this. You won’t have a pension unless you do something about it yourself!

Maybe no one took the time to explain this to you.

Even now, in 2015, schools don’t discuss it. So here is your future, in a nutshell: the sooner you start thinking differently, the easier your life will be when you’re older.

And if you’re older already, the sooner you begin, the better. It’s never too late.

It’s not about trying harder. That’s a myth.

It’s a matter of perspective.

I use a visual exercise with my clients whenever they feel overwhelmed or frustrated.

Imagine putting your issue (like debt) into a box in front of you. It could be big or small, pulsing with anger or fear, vibrating for the emotions to get out, or simply just sitting there like a box. Be sure to pick an activated thought that when you think it, you have a feeling response. If you’re not having a feeling response to something, a feeling that feels good or a feeling that feels bad — the thought is not that powerful, and it is probably not a big player in your vibrational mix. Pick a dooser.

Now imagine there is a mountain behind you with an elevator door. Push the UP button and walk in. Push Penthouse View and take a ride up, up, up to the very top of this mountain. It’s so tall, you can feel the clouds around you. In fact, it’s so tall, you burst through the clouds and feel the sunshine and see the blue sky above.

Look down over the edge, (you won’t fall; you are safe) and see if you can find the box.

Most likely you won’t see it. You now have a different perspective on the issue. This energetic exercise is just that, a shift in perspective.

That box is smaller or invisible. The issues within are smaller or you can’t see them.

Now, turn around and walk towards your next task. You will take action seeing yourself differently.

 – If you’re trying really hard to pay more than the minimum on your credit card debt, what does it look like from a different perspective? If you could see yourself paying the greater rate, are you pleased or disgusted? Look back how you’ve accumulated the debt. Did you buy something knowing you tried really, really hard not to, or just gave in to a desire because you don’t care?

If you are getting married, are you excited about having that huge expensive wedding? Look at yourself from a different perspective and watch yourself act out how much you want to spend.  If you have the money or it’s being paid for, you are probably comfortable. But if you don’t have the money, are you trying really, really hard to choose a less expensive dress and location or you just don’t care?

–  If your vehicle needs repair, what could some options be instead of adding more debt to your credit card? From a different perspective, could you take the train or the bus for a couple of weeks, or catch a ride with someone else until you saved up enough money to pay for the repairs? Look back at yourself from a higher, different perspective. Are you trying hard to make better decisions and willing to save rather than spend?

If you are surrounded by peers and pressure to have the latest technology, latest fashions, more shoes, go out to the concerts, are you trying really, really hard to pretend you can afford to keep up with them? Or are you willing to stand up for yourself and know you are still loved? Henry David Thoreau wrote, “If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.” You can and should choose your own particular way and lifestyle. Because if you try really, really hard to keep up with others and follow the crowd that is content with spending and increasing debt with a “who cares attitude,” you will find yourself living a life of mediocrity and negativity.  And you will deceive yourself by saying, “Well I tried really, really hard.”

Look at your life from a different perspective.

You are free to explore your own beliefs and not bother with the opinions of others.

An ancient Chinese proverb states, “A person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it.”

There’s always someone, somewhere who will try to shoot you down. Usually it’s someone close to you. Stop trying really, really hard and instead tap into your own creativity, will-power, and a sense of commitment to achieve a goal – you and your family’s goal: financial independence, financial freedom.

Listen to your own personal drummer.  Follow your own beat. It’s way easier and fulfilling than trying really, really hard!

Great job.

Patricia

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